Haven't "blogged" in a while. Mostly cause I am tired. I thought my appointment with my ENT doctor this past Monday would be to get my prognosis and treatment plan. Instead all that was accomplished was the doc confirmed that my tumors are malignant... so I officially have cancer.

The next step is now for me to have a PET scan. That will be on Wednesday, April 11, 2012. That will show if the cancer has spread to any other part of my body other than my throat.

I did receive a call after the appointment from the "Cancer Center" telling me that I have an appointment with a doctor there on Wednesday, April 11, 2012 and it is after my PET scan. So I will spend the day at the UMDNJ campus. I'm not sure why I have this appointment.  The Cancer Center in Newark is a research facility... or at least that is all their website says. I told my brother Sam today that it is probably that they want to research why someone as cool as me got cancer :)))

Then on Monday, April 16th I will go back to the ENT doc for my prognosis and treatment plan...

This has been going on for so long. And my financial life is so messed up that I don't know when or how I can go back to work full time and begin to get things straightened out. I have applied for help through the NJ Department of Human Services... but they just don't seem to want to help... so many road blocks... so many MORE forms to get filled out by various people. They don't seem interested at all that I am in pain all day long. Sometimes it is not terrible and other times it is absolutely almost more than I can take.

I have pain pills and they help. But I can't drive when I take them. So if I am somewhere and get a bad pain attack, there just isn't anything I can do.

I know I am lucky that it is "only" throat cancer. Of course, from what I have read on the Internet, treatment won't be particularly easy. My mouth and throat could have long term problems from the radiation and chemo... if I have to have either or both.

But I won't know until I get the prognosis... more waiting... more pain... more b/s from the government entities. It is overwhelming and I am just so tired.